Valentine's Day is supposed to be about romance, but for a lot of couples it shines a light on distance. Maybe you've been having the same argument for months. Maybe a new baby, a move or a job loss changed everything. Or maybe things are mostly fine and you'd just like them to be better. A good couples counselor can help in all of those cases, and you don't have to be on the edge of a breakup to go. The hard part is finding someone who fits both of you.
This is general information to help you start looking. It isn't mental health advice. A licensed therapist can help you decide what kind of support fits your relationship.
When couples counseling can help
Couples go to counseling for all kinds of reasons. Some of the most common:
- Communication that keeps turning into fights or silence
- The same argument about money, chores or family, on repeat
- Trust after an affair or a broken promise
- Big transitions like a new baby, a blended family, an empty nest or retirement
- Intimacy that has faded
- Parenting disagreements
- Deciding whether to stay together
Earlier is usually easier. Many therapists say couples tend to wait until problems are deep before reaching out. If something's been bothering you for a while, you don't need a crisis to make the call.
Who provides couples therapy
Several kinds of licensed professionals work with couples. Titles vary by state.
- Licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFT) are trained specifically in relationships and family systems.
- Licensed professional counselors (LPC or LPCC) and licensed clinical social workers (LCSW) may also specialize in couples work.
- Psychologists may offer couples therapy, often alongside individual therapy and assessment.
A license alone doesn't tell you whether someone is skilled with couples. Ask about their specific training and how much of their practice is couples work. Some use well-known approaches, such as the Gottman Method or Emotionally Focused Therapy. You don't need to understand the methods in detail, but a therapist should be able to explain how they work in plain words.
How to find a couples counselor near you
Search by location and specialty
Start with "couples therapy near me" or "marriage counseling" plus your city. On Listings Junkie, counseling and therapy providers are organized by state, such as Texas, Maryland and Georgia. Our guide to using Listings Junkie to find local businesses shows how to search.
A few examples listed on the site: Ori Hope Counseling in Houston describes structured couples therapy focused on communication, trust and emotional connection. Annapolis Relationship Therapy in Annapolis, Maryland, describes a practice in individual and couples therapy. Human Excellence Behavioral Health in Stone Mountain, Georgia, lists marriage counseling among its services. These are examples, not endorsements.
Consider online couples therapy
Video sessions can make scheduling easier, especially with kids or opposite work shifts. Therapists usually need to be licensed in the state where you live, so check that before you book.
Check cost and insurance
Coverage for couples therapy varies, and some plans don't cover it at all. Ask the therapist's office what they charge, whether they take your insurance and whether they can provide paperwork for out-of-network reimbursement.
Read profiles and reviews with care
Because of privacy rules, many therapists have few public reviews, and that's normal. Focus on how they describe their work and whether it sounds like a fit for you. Our article on what makes a business directory trustworthy explains what to look for in any listing.
Questions to ask on the first call
Many therapists offer a short free phone call. Use it, and if you can, have both partners listen.
How much of your practice is couples work?
What's your approach, and what does a typical session look like?
Do you ever meet with each partner alone?
How do you stay neutral so neither of us feels ganged up on?
How often do couples usually meet with you, and for how long?
What do you charge, and do you take our insurance?
Do you offer evening, weekend or video sessions?
Pay attention to how you both feel after the call. If one of you feels dismissed, it's okay to try someone else.
What your first counseling session is like
The first session or two are usually about getting the picture. Expect questions about how you met, what's working, what isn't and what you each want from counseling. Some therapists meet with each of you separately early on. You may get a short exercise or questionnaire to complete at home.
It can feel awkward. That's normal. Give it a few sessions before deciding whether it's a fit, unless something feels clearly wrong.
When couples counseling isn't the right first step
If there's physical violence, threats, or one partner is afraid of the other, joint counseling may not be safe. Many therapists recommend individual support first in those situations. The National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, offers free, confidential help around the clock.
If either of you is thinking about suicide or self-harm, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or call 911.
Making counseling work
- Both of you show up, even on weeks you don't feel like it.
- Do the homework. The real change happens between sessions.
- Talk about what you're learning, not just about the problems.
- Be honest with your therapist if something isn't working.
Counseling isn't about deciding who's right. It's about learning to be on the same team again.
Frequently asked questions
How long does couples counseling usually take?
It varies. Some couples meet for a few months, others longer. Your counselor can give you a rough idea after the first few sessions.
What if my partner doesn't want to go?
You can start on your own. Individual therapy can still help you understand patterns and communicate differently, and some partners join later.
Is online couples therapy as good as in person?
Many couples find it works well, especially for scheduling. What matters most is the fit with the therapist.
Does insurance cover marriage counseling?
Sometimes, but not always. Check with your plan and ask the therapist's office before your first session.
Will a couples counselor tell us whether to stay together?
Usually not. A good counselor helps you understand your relationship and make your own decision.
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